I’ve
spent most of the last 18 months with Cinder wondering if I was insane to have
kept her after my health took a sudden dive within weeks of getting her as a
small puppy. After all, how fair is it
to keep a puppy when your physical limitations will interfere with raising and
training a puppy of any kind, but especially a high energy Border Collie that requires a LOT of regular exercise and activities? But, I didn’t really know my health issues
were going to be so lingering and long-lasting; I’d thought them fairly
temporary until Cinder was nearly a year old.
By then, she’d become such a fixture in our lives that I couldn’t
possibly let her go.
Despite
my limitations and Cinder’s youth, we managed to do a lot more than many people
ever do with their dogs when they have the time and good health on their side. Cinder
learned all the manners of a good house dog; how to travel in the car; she
quickly figured out multiple games with balls and soft Frisbees; she learned to
dive and swim like a fish; we managed to get through two training classes; she
learned how to treat my elderly mother-in-law with care; and when I had my
first surgery, she learned how to be my very best, closest companion and
personal service dog.
For
the brief couple of months during which I was recovering from my back surgery and
became regularly mobile again, we enjoyed regular outings and began another
training class. I thought I was going to
be able to reclaim my life and we were on the way to being able to start
agility this fall. I was wrong. My hip, shoulder, and ankle joints filled
with arthritis and deterioration causing serious pain that even narcotic pain
meds barely make tolerable; and steroid injections I’d had alleviated about 80%
of the pain, but they wore off in under 45 days when they’re supposed to last
at least 90 – 180 days. In July, only
four months after back surgery, I had a total hip replacement which placed new
limits on me - again. Cinder and I were truly mid-way through an advanced
obedience class when my doctor told me I’d need the hip replaced and it was
done the following week – on the day of our obedience class. I’d informed the trainer and Brian was
allowed to complete the class with Cinder in order to keep her on the learning
path.
Cinder
has risen to the challenge of being stuck at home most days, content to be my
best friend, guardian, and daily companion.
She’s never far from me and never gets into trouble. In fact, she’s very helpful to both my mind
and spirit; and even in getting me up and moving as much as I can. She’s equally content to lounge with me in
the recliner, or going outside to run around the yard for a few minutes as long
as I’m out there with her. I know she’d
love to go on daily outings to romp at the “horse house,” friends’ farms and
play at the private dog park, or go swimming every day; but she never seems to
care what we do so long as we’re together.
I’ve
finally concluded that getting and keeping Cinder was pretty bad and sad with
respect to the way my health issues have been.
However, Cinder has added new life into our quiet, routine, and busy
lives. She’s kept her uncles more active
trying to keep up with her and that makes them healthier by being more active
and alert. She’s kept Brian and I company
while adding immeasurable entertainment, skills, and fun into our lives; and
she’s kept me company and actually been quite a helper in ways her uncles
aren’t. She has contributed greatly to
the happiness and well-being of us all; and she has thrived despite the odds. I
can now say, it wasn’t the best idea and timing to get Cinder, a puppy, when we
did, but there was no way to see the future; and now, looking back over the
last 18 months, I’m not sure how I would’ve stood up to MY challenges without
her and she’s certainly risen to meet hers.
Sometimes
things don’t work out the way we want or plan them and it’s very frustrating.
But, in the end, things usually work out the way they’re supposed to. Whether you believe in God, another “Higher
Power,” or you’re agnostic, atheistic, or you’re a believer in some sort of
“manifest destiny,” things work the way they’re supposed to even if it’s not
the way we think they should. But, I’ve
come to realize that Cinder’s a gift and she’s also gifted to be able to
somehow comprehend things and adapt to whatever circumstances we seem to find
ourselves in. As a Border Collie, a
puppy with the ability to adapt, learn, and thrive in the circumstances she’s
endured so far is nothing short of amazing. Most Border Collie puppies are so
high energy they truly don’t do well in the kind of lifestyle Cinder’s known
for her first 18 months of life. Most
Border Collie puppies would be too energetic and become destructive or neurotic
– or both – without a much more rigorously active lifestyle to expend their
energy regularly. Cinder has her moments
when her energy gets the better of her and she races through the house, jumping
on the furniture and wrestling her uncles until they get aggravated. But overall, she has adapted and shown great
sense, maturity, and ability to accept her situation and behave well. She’s also shown an amazing level of
nurturing and care. I’m sure she’d be
much happier if we could do more fun things and get to romp freely more often,
but she seems content with whatever the day brings, including curling up beside
me to nap quietly while I rest and pray for the day when we can both do
more.
It’s
taken me 18 months to see that Cinder is a gifted girl. Her gifts eluded me because I’ve been so
blinded by what I WANTED to do with her that I haven’t been (and may never be)
able to do with her. I’d had such high
hopes to do so many fun things, especially agility, that we haven’t been able
to do. NOT doing those things blinded me from seeing what we have done and may
yet do. Now, I see that indeed, those things would’ve been great fun and
displayed her athletic talents, but she’s perfect if we never do anything
differently than we are right now. She’s awesome enough if she doesn’t do
anything else. Now, I’m so glad we kept
her and she’s part of our family that I certainly don’t want to imagine life
without her. Is it fair…has it been fair
to Cinder to be stuck with me during my failing health situation and not have
the kind of life I wanted for her or the kind of life other Border Collies have
on farms? No, but in reality, it doesn’t
seem to have hurt her and it’s a far better life than many dogs will ever
know. It’s also not fair to ME that my
last puppy and I didn’t get to do the things I wanted to do during her
puppyhood. But life isn’t fair and I’m trying to roll with the punches and make
lemonade of lemons – after all, if Cinder can make the best of things, then I
should too.
That’s
all I have to share for now. Recovering
from my back and hip replacement surgery; and preparing for my shoulder
replacement surgery makes for a very dull life.
I can tell you this; it would be much duller and even depressing if not
for Cinder and her uncles. I think it’s
safe to say that most of the time, it’s not the story of raising Cinder as much
as it is about Cinder teaching us something along the way. This is just another lesson learned and
shared as we continue our daily efforts Raising Cinder.
Be
well and be good to yourselves and others!
Cheers!
Chris
(aka Cinder’s Hu-mom)
